Post by Tiff'blz on Aug 19, 2007 15:02:49 GMT -5
My my... Never thought this would happen.. Writing in a journal?.. A diary? Well.. There must be a first time for everything I guess.
Where to start? I am not sure, and I guess it is truly obvious that I havent even been graced with a diary from anyone before. Of course it was the sweet Dor that gave this to me. He saved me you know. I guess.. Well I guess he felt sorry for me. I was just seventeen at the time. *I just thought I would add that I am 19 now* I wasnt fully aware of the capacity of my powers. I tried to use them to protect myself, but... It was a pathetic attempt I hear, with me ending up being slung unconscious into the back of a car with two thugs. One of which got punished for.. dare I even write it down.. Yes, I shall.. For 'man handling' me while I wasnt aware of anything. I guess it was best that I was out, or I am sure the memory of it would haunt my every move, breath, and my most horrible dreams. I sit here now, curious as to what caught Dor's attention to me, as I was just one of many gifteds there. He seemed to relate to me somehow. I am not sure to this day what it is, but I can only hope that he doesnt lose interest, and I am not thrown back to the wolves...
* * *
Well.. I am not very good at keeping up with this thing. I hardly remember that I have it, and I have misplaced it several times already..It has been almost a week since I wrote in it last. Oh well. At least I remembered today. Ha! Funny how when you are thinking of something, your actions mirror it even though there is no one to see it. I just nodded at my diary..that has to be classic in some way. I know why I picked my diary back up this morning. I was sitting at the window, watching the birds almost skate across the surface of the water, searching for breakfast, and my dream came back to me like a crashing wave. I was standing at a fountain. There were two people there, and the last thing I wanted to do was walk up and say hello. I was such a loner.. Hmm. When all of a sudden a boy just showed up behind me! He scared me half to death! Amazing man he was though. We sat and talked, and he all but stole my heart away.. I woke up with a start, and proceeded to cry wholeheartedly at the conclusion of such a wonderful dream. I realize that it is stupid to cry over a dream, but the reality of it.. I just dont know ..if it was real..Why cant I remember?
* * *
Laodice... The name whispers through my mind, to haunt me in some way.. Over and over, as if a poltergeist is trying to drive me insane. Laodice.. No last name comes to mind and only a blurry image of a face. I almost reach out to touch it before I catch my hand and bring it back to resist making a fool of myself. Yes, I must be going crazy as these events are getting closer and closer together and I cannot stop it from happening. I now begin to wonder about Dor's intentions.. Whether he is truly a friend or if he is using me as some sort of sick experiment.. Or.. The most horrible choice of all, the one I do not wish to pick.. Have I lost my mind? I hear voices and see.. visions.. I cannot help but attach the name to the boy of my dream.. Laodice, the one that swept me off my feet.. The one who, I now realize I never could completely make out.. Why did that not bother me in my dream? That I couldnt see him totaly? Did that warning bell not ring in my head? No.. I was so completely enthralled with him, that I didn't realize it. All I remember is staring into those deep brown soulful eyes..
* * *
I received this journal almost a year ago..and I only have three entries. Do not think that I have just been forgetful, or thoughtless.. The war reached over here finally, at the base of it all. Sadly enough, it wasnt from the outside.. The first explosion came, from all places... The basement.. I was never allowed down there, and I never questioned it. I dont know why, it would so be in my nature to nag and question and at least take a peek.. But no. THe obediant little child I became I merely smiled and shrugged it off. I watched as gifteds ran for their lives and for a moment that was all I could do.. was watch. Dor didnt survive the onslaught from these gifteds. Nor should he! He was directing and housing the 'experiments' in his own house! I cannot believe I thought him my savior, and I know, I know, well I am writing in the very journal he bought me but it is for a reason. I intend to leave this in the house, so someone else can see what a lying bastard Dor really was. I helped the gifteds escape. Yes.. You heard me I helped them! They were my brethren and I hate myself for not doing it sooner.. for not asking why part of the house was closed off, GOD Im stupid!!...
There were so many of them.. Locked up, tested on, beaten, bruised...dead... I hang my head in shame. It is my fault it seems and I cannot shake that pathetic feeling... The one where I searched for Laodice in that room.. I was willing to leave all the rest if I could find that one man.. I guess it was a good thing though, for all of the surviving gifteds got out because Laodice wasnt there. My selfishness saddens and angers me.. But I am at least willing to accept my faults. I leave this place now.. In search of surviving gifteds.. In search of friends.. Hmm.. Funny.. I dont remember having many friends.. But I will leave this here.. for who? .. For posterity.. For anyone who deems it necessary to look in a young girl's diary..which would be a lot of people I assume..I say a final goodbye. I started out here happily, and now.. Goodbye.
Where to start? I am not sure, and I guess it is truly obvious that I havent even been graced with a diary from anyone before. Of course it was the sweet Dor that gave this to me. He saved me you know. I guess.. Well I guess he felt sorry for me. I was just seventeen at the time. *I just thought I would add that I am 19 now* I wasnt fully aware of the capacity of my powers. I tried to use them to protect myself, but... It was a pathetic attempt I hear, with me ending up being slung unconscious into the back of a car with two thugs. One of which got punished for.. dare I even write it down.. Yes, I shall.. For 'man handling' me while I wasnt aware of anything. I guess it was best that I was out, or I am sure the memory of it would haunt my every move, breath, and my most horrible dreams. I sit here now, curious as to what caught Dor's attention to me, as I was just one of many gifteds there. He seemed to relate to me somehow. I am not sure to this day what it is, but I can only hope that he doesnt lose interest, and I am not thrown back to the wolves...
* * *
Well.. I am not very good at keeping up with this thing. I hardly remember that I have it, and I have misplaced it several times already..It has been almost a week since I wrote in it last. Oh well. At least I remembered today. Ha! Funny how when you are thinking of something, your actions mirror it even though there is no one to see it. I just nodded at my diary..that has to be classic in some way. I know why I picked my diary back up this morning. I was sitting at the window, watching the birds almost skate across the surface of the water, searching for breakfast, and my dream came back to me like a crashing wave. I was standing at a fountain. There were two people there, and the last thing I wanted to do was walk up and say hello. I was such a loner.. Hmm. When all of a sudden a boy just showed up behind me! He scared me half to death! Amazing man he was though. We sat and talked, and he all but stole my heart away.. I woke up with a start, and proceeded to cry wholeheartedly at the conclusion of such a wonderful dream. I realize that it is stupid to cry over a dream, but the reality of it.. I just dont know ..if it was real..Why cant I remember?
* * *
Laodice... The name whispers through my mind, to haunt me in some way.. Over and over, as if a poltergeist is trying to drive me insane. Laodice.. No last name comes to mind and only a blurry image of a face. I almost reach out to touch it before I catch my hand and bring it back to resist making a fool of myself. Yes, I must be going crazy as these events are getting closer and closer together and I cannot stop it from happening. I now begin to wonder about Dor's intentions.. Whether he is truly a friend or if he is using me as some sort of sick experiment.. Or.. The most horrible choice of all, the one I do not wish to pick.. Have I lost my mind? I hear voices and see.. visions.. I cannot help but attach the name to the boy of my dream.. Laodice, the one that swept me off my feet.. The one who, I now realize I never could completely make out.. Why did that not bother me in my dream? That I couldnt see him totaly? Did that warning bell not ring in my head? No.. I was so completely enthralled with him, that I didn't realize it. All I remember is staring into those deep brown soulful eyes..
* * *
I received this journal almost a year ago..and I only have three entries. Do not think that I have just been forgetful, or thoughtless.. The war reached over here finally, at the base of it all. Sadly enough, it wasnt from the outside.. The first explosion came, from all places... The basement.. I was never allowed down there, and I never questioned it. I dont know why, it would so be in my nature to nag and question and at least take a peek.. But no. THe obediant little child I became I merely smiled and shrugged it off. I watched as gifteds ran for their lives and for a moment that was all I could do.. was watch. Dor didnt survive the onslaught from these gifteds. Nor should he! He was directing and housing the 'experiments' in his own house! I cannot believe I thought him my savior, and I know, I know, well I am writing in the very journal he bought me but it is for a reason. I intend to leave this in the house, so someone else can see what a lying bastard Dor really was. I helped the gifteds escape. Yes.. You heard me I helped them! They were my brethren and I hate myself for not doing it sooner.. for not asking why part of the house was closed off, GOD Im stupid!!...
There were so many of them.. Locked up, tested on, beaten, bruised...dead... I hang my head in shame. It is my fault it seems and I cannot shake that pathetic feeling... The one where I searched for Laodice in that room.. I was willing to leave all the rest if I could find that one man.. I guess it was a good thing though, for all of the surviving gifteds got out because Laodice wasnt there. My selfishness saddens and angers me.. But I am at least willing to accept my faults. I leave this place now.. In search of surviving gifteds.. In search of friends.. Hmm.. Funny.. I dont remember having many friends.. But I will leave this here.. for who? .. For posterity.. For anyone who deems it necessary to look in a young girl's diary..which would be a lot of people I assume..I say a final goodbye. I started out here happily, and now.. Goodbye.
